Skin

When yesterday was all said and done,

we were left with a pile of dirty uniforms and tired, exhausted kids.

It began at 6am.

Usually on a Saturday, that is sleeping in,

but yesterday, it was tough to pull myself out of bed,

and even harder to get the kids moving.

8:30am soccer game,

and the expected/unexpected cleaning of the church assignment at 6:30am.

Of course we want the blessing of participating in that task.

Nevermind it meant a really early morning,

without a dad or older son.

The kids helped 'willingly....because they had to'.

Isn't that life?

"Willingly.....because we have to."

Or is it,

"Willingly, because we want to?"

(Oh....I should mention that writing without rules might be frustrating for some of my cyber friends. Please feel free to correct me when I mess up my punctuation. Thanks)

Corbin is a super cute little dude on the field.

While most of the kids are playing Buffalo Ball,

Corbin is 'getting open.'

I love it.

And the girls each played some very challenging soccer.

Both scored!

Presley has a gift for seeing the whole field.

She knows how to be where the ball is going,

which in her young training is called, "The Scoring Spot."

She played awesome D too.

No one scored while she was guarding the goalie.

I have probably seen Reagan score a hundred times in the last 8 seasons,

but yesterdays goal was my all-time Fav.

She shot from the side line, pretty far away,

and that ball sailed over every players head and hit the back of the net with tremendous force.

She tied the game and sent the motivation straight to the stars.

Way to Go!

I will always remember that goal.

Our kids came home sweaty and tired.

It was a fun day on the fields.

I laid in bed last night so exhausted,

But I couldn't help but replay the significant moments of my week.

For example,

I took one of the minions in for a speech evaluation.

The person who assessed him was a rather hard-nosed, old school kind of woman.

She spent 5 minutes with my little zombie before she came out to get me.

She was frustrated because she couldn't get the child to cooperate and count the blocks.

(He was stacking them.)

After 10 minutes with him,

she began talking about "Oppositional Behavior Disorder" and medication.

We had a little moment where I explained that he is most cooperative when I give him a choice.

I about died laughing inside when she went on to say this:

"The real problem in parenting is that a decade or so ago, 'Experts' gave parents the idea that kids need choices."

She continued,

"In the real world, they aren't going to have choices. They will have to do what they are told."

Ummmm......yah...maybe in prison.

She proceeded to give me a lecture on parenting.

Obviously, I am not getting this very right.

Needless to say, I smiled and thanked her and walked out laughing.

The woman was about as unapproachable as a hungry bear in early spring.

The child wouldn't dance her dance.

I wouldn't either.

Maybe I have "Oppositional Behavior Disorder"?

Is there some kind of medication that will make me follow the rules?? Please.

Well, since I can't think of any,

I suppose I will go on defying the norm.

It would be awesome if more people did the same.

That experience did cause me to stop and ponder about the child's behavior.

Yes. He came out with extra energy.

(He takes after his dad.)

No. There is nothing wrong with that.

More than likely, he will spin circles around "normal" people,

and end up feeling a little ostracized during certain points in his life.

We will probably get angry calls from frustrated teachers.

He might not fit in every where he goes.

So far, of our 9 children, he is exactly as normal as the rest.

And they are amazing kids.

Hard working, happy, service-oriented high achievers.

I love that they don't mess around when it comes to really living.

Here is a funny story:

The scout came home from the campout feeling agitated.

He said this,

"My leaders wouldn't let me use my laser pointer, and I had to put it away.

But then they said no to the sling shot too.

No air soft guns.

No lighters.

No machetes.

I don't think I want to go on any more camp outs."

My response? "Hmmmmmm........"

Zombies #2 and #3 are the reason I know I will survive Zombies #6 and #7.

When I asked Dan what he thought about the woman's 5 minute assessment of our little son he said something like,

"Well that pretty much confirms what we already know."

He reminded me that I don't take that child too many places.

I said, "I have never been able to take boys anywhere."

We laughed.

Some spaces are just a little too confining

so we hold off on those until the boys are ready.

We all have gifts.

It's super frustrating to the people who want to label a gift as a 'disability.'

....

And now I will get to the filterLESS me.

Last night, I was watching a clip on the Internet of some girls that were doing a dance routine.

I will be honest,

it embarrassed me.

The parents seemed proud to watch their daughter shake her chest and bum.

I wondered what useful purpose that activity holds?

Are we really meant to spend hours upon hours learning something like that?

Does it hold any future value?

Recently when speaking with one of our daughters,

she expressed to me that she feels inadequate by the fact that she doesn't know how to dance.

(Apparently, the popular girls can dance.)

It made me sad to think that this daughter,

with all her abilities,

feels inadequate about something, that in my mind, is such an embarrassment.

Shaking your boobs or bootie is NOT A useful SKILL.

If it happens to be your skill....please know you have other God-given abilities.

Okay....

This is not a knock on dancing.

I think most dancing is beautiful.

I am even amazed by gymnastics and acrobatics.

It takes incredible bravery for people to discipline themselves enough to practice and perfect their craft

AND THEN stand in front of a crowd and confidently show their skill.

And I am not bitter because dancing is not my skill.

If I wanted it, I am quite certain I could learn it.

There is nothing in life that says we only acquire talents in childhood.

I have seen grown adults develop new talents in the arts.

Most of the time, confidence and courage are the keys....not age or raw talent.

Finally this night (or morning depending on how you see it) I would like to say something to my sweet daughters and sons:

You have so much to offer.

Please don't judge yourself by the standards of others.

We cannot please everyone,

but we can please God,

and He is all that matters.

Kindness, virtue, honesty, endurance, service.....are not talents that are regularly recognized.

More than likely, you will not be receiving any awards for success in those areas.

You will, however, be accepted by those who mean the most.

Please, Please, Please learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

Think of Ainsley and Maryn and how sweet they are coming into this life.

It's the ugliness of the world that changes us from who we are meant to be.

Sometimes you might feel like your only choice is to

Compromise

OR

be part of the Nerd Herd.

Please be a nerd.

It's a good thing.

Hopefully the Nerd Herd is full of other kids that are trying to do the right thing.

You could even aspire to become the Head of Nerd Herd.

How cool is that?

I love you sweet minions,

with all your spunk and energy.

I love you when you are "oppositional."

I love you when you are happy or hurting or sad.

I love you especially when you forget yourself and you worry more about what other people think of you.

I love to see you honestly succeed,

because it feels good in the most wholesome way.

I want that for you.

I want that for everyone.

I am so thankful for the blessing I have of being the one to help you through these hard years.

What have I learned about myself recently?

I am an ADHD Nocturnal Chinese Mother of 9 who occasionally goes a little over-the-top and suffers from "Oppositional Behavior Disorder."

I love sports. Who knew?

I have a gift for understanding the language of contracts,

but I cannot scramble eggs.

Depending on my mood, I listen to hymns or Social Distortion.

Apparently, I love to write.

I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I don't mind wearing the same shirt two days in a row if no one spit up on it or hugged me with peanut butter hands.

I do not enjoy shopping, or trying on clothes.

I prefer gym shoes to high heels.

Someday when I am old, I will play the organ while Dan sings Amazing Grace at someone's funeral.

I feel comfortable in my own skin.

And....

I am a Mormon. (That part was random, eh..like the commercials. Haha)

I wish I had always been as accepting of myself as I am right now.

I hope everyone can find that quiet confidence that comes from knowing who they are and where they came from.

It brings peace.

Well....Today is Sunday.

We leave for church in 3 hours.

I have been awake for 2.

If I work quickly,

we might make it on time :)