Sunday, October 31, 2010

At the Crossroads

I found the quote I was looking for.

After a little incident last night,
I have again committed to re-doubling my energy to becoming a better mother.
I can't help but go back to my best resources.
the one's I have poured over the last 10 years
in my search for strength in this daunting task.

When I looked again this morning,
I found the direction I was hoping for in a parenting guide.

A quote from President Ezra Taft Benson:

"I would now like to suggest ten specific ways
our mothers may spend effective time with their children.

1. Be at the Crossroads.
First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going—when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.
In Proverbs we read,
“A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame”
(Proverbs 29:15). "
I guess I interpreted that quote to mean that it is my fault if my children are left to themselves, and something shameful results. There isn't anyone to blame but the one who left them alone.

Circumstances don't always allow for mothers to be physically at every crossroad,
but emotionally,
we should be standing in our posts at all times.
I am really thankful that, for the most part,
I am blessed to be in the places I am expected to be.
And if it's not me,
it's Dan.
Our older children are beginning to understand that they can also assist with each other and the little ones.
I appreciate every helpful act they perform in supporting one another.

And in my mind,
Being at the crossroads is first on President Benson's list for a reason.
It really is the most important place for us.
From President Hinckley I remember the "9 Be's".
One of those...."Be Involved".
For me,
at this stage in my life,
being involved is exhausting.
Dan and I sat down this morning
and read some inspirational words.
We then made a plan.
To have our home at the center of the crossroads requires a commitment of:
time
energy
cleanliness
organization
flexibility
red cups
paper plates
chips and salsa
popcorn
and an assortment of many other "preparedness" items for the massive number of kids that come and go from our house.

I have never been interested in popularity,
but I believe kids need places where they are accepted and directed.
And I hope our home can be that place for them.

And to my children on this beautiful Sunday morning:
I love you more than you will ever know.
I love your friends.
I support your efforts.
I protect your causes.
I am sorry for the moments that seem so hard.
Keep trying,
and I will too.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Friday

Dan questioned why I would end right now,
when,
after all this time,
we finally paid our final respects to the old washer and dryer.
It was a tearful parting.

I called a guy on Craigslist.
He said he would deliver.

Perfect.
And after some negotiating,
which I am bad at,
we settled on a price.
He was really kind
and hooked up the new machines,
and made sure we had good hoses.

Turns out,
we know some of the same people.

I was cranky by the time Dan returned from his 56 hours away from home.
He had to fish for info from the kids.
Reagan explained it something like this,
"Well Dad, they were priced for this much,
but if you consider the time you didn't have to spend
picking up the new machines,
and getting rid of the old ones,
then it was really a bargain."

Well done, little minion.

And before the nice guy ever left,
I had started a load of wash,
learned about his newlywed daughter,
talked about his twin sons,
discussed some life philosophies,
found a great plumber,
and made a new friend.

Thanks, Jay for helping me.
You went above and beyond.

Colin was probably most excited about the new machines.
Maryn stood at the window and watched the clothes go around and around.

On another note,

I am restless today.
It's been this way all week.
I have been emotionally charged about some things recently.
Dan tells me it's my strength.
I tell him it's a curse.
Not caring is tons easier than the alternative.

I couldn't find where I had heard this,

but it's something about "when children are left alone,
and they get into trouble,
it's the parent's fault."

I will keep searching until I find the right words.

Anyway,
it's what's been on my mind all week.
I am watching some of our kids struggle,
and wondering where my place is.
I know that they will eventually have to stand completely alone,
but for now,
they still need help,
in whatever form that may be.

Children are not meant to be left to themselves.
They need direction and support.


Monday, October 25, 2010

The beginning of the end

The blog helps me with my spelling,
And I am probably more deliberate with my wording.
Blogging has helped my writing skills tremendously.
Homeschooling helps that too.
But still,
I miss my journal.
2 years of blogging has been great,
but I am ready for my private thoughts to become private again.
My life is one continuous round of do-overs,
and my writing is becoming repetitive.
It's not my interest to bore anyone,

and my intention for this has never been about entertainment.
I simply record the thoughts and feelings of the moment.
And, let's be honest,
it's only interesting to me.

At future dates,
I sort back through my days,
and pick out what was meaningful or useful to the present cause.
My children will have known my thoughts.
I hope they will understand how much they are in my mind and heart everyday.
I have especially loved sharing my feelings with them.
It was not an aspect of blogging I had considered when I began.

And I love my friends in cyberspace.
You bring me hope.

I guess what I am trying to say is......

I am not sure how much longer this blog can remain.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Notable moments that I want to remember:


Reagan's game yesterday.
She played a team comprised entirely of her very best friends.
There were tears after the first quarter.
We had a talk about healthy competition,
and that her friends would still be her friends,
even if she scored on them.
Reagan's team did end up losing.

She scored once, and nearly two other times.
As we left the field,
she said,
"Mom, I NEVER want to do that again. That was Horrible!"
She went home and played all afternoon with her friend Addie,
the goal keeper that she scored against.

Later that afternoon,
at a party with 12 year olds,
Reagan won the Sumo contest.
The adults thought that was pretty funny,
considering she is 8,
and the big boys could not beat her.

I love my sweet girl.


Last night,
I relived one of my favorite childhood memories.
Eating fried zucchini at Peter Piper Pizza with all the kids.
Only Dan and I were the adults,
and WE brought the mass of random neighborhood children out to play.
It was a good night.
(But honestly,

I don't like over-priced B grade pizza,
and we were there because we had to be so we made the best of it,
but I am okay if I don't go back for 5 years or so.)

Our weekend began with 6 birthday party invitations.
That meant lots of gifts and coordinating.
By the end of it,
I had solved one of my biggest dilemmas.
"What to buy for birthday gifts."
$5.50 movie tickets.
I will buy and stack,
and we can always be prepared.
(It probably sounds cheap,

but most of these invitations are for kids I have never even heard of.)


There was also another dilemma solved this weekend.
"Gardening"
The HOA likes to fine us because we have grass growing in our flower beds.
Thursday night,
I called the kids out and explained the situation.
I can either pay the HOA,
or I can pay them.
They like money,
so they offered to help.
Each designated "A Plot"
and began weeding.
On Friday,
I picked up my sons early from school,
and took them to the plant store.
They loaded a cart with all the things they wanted to plant,
paid,
unloaded the carts into the van,
came home and went to work planting.
I hope it all survives.
Dan had 2 hours to spare late yesterday
and added some almost-finishing touches.

I had almost given up on the idea of planting flowers and vegis.

The only other option is to add rock and desert landscaping.
I am so thankful my kids stepped up to help.
It will be a beautiful garden this winter
.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Letters to Wednesday

Dear Wednesday,

The last week flew by in a flash of blurry haziness. 9 days ago, I lost myself in service. (I knew I wouldn't find myself again unless I did.)

It has been 9 beautiful days. Why do I ever forget how much happiness I find in helping others?

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend a youth conference with my daughter Sydney. It was great. 10 years ago, I approached teenagers cautiously suspicious. Since then, I have come to be amazed by their strength. I needed a little boost of faith, and I found it on the trip.

Today was one of those crazy days. It was our first day back to school in 2.5 weeks, and the kids were up early. I, however, woke up dragging after a late evening of Bootcamp, followed by Ghost Whisperer until well past midnight. Corbin is such a night owl, and every bit as much a fan of the new series. I paid a good price for my indulgence last night. Still, the day went well. By this evening, I was loaded and ready for 2 hours of driving back and forth to the church. Pack Meeting, Mutual and then Boy Scouts Board of Review.

Wednesday, I drove away from the church for the last time tonight feeling the most overwhelming, exhausting peace. Our kids are where they are meant to be. My contribution is merely transportation. I lend a listening ear to the very many teens and tweens that come and go from my van. One young 12 year old was apprehensive to want to be with the group tonight. I offered a ride and she accepted. We talked all the way there. I wonder how many times other people have helped my children with a simple conversation. I can only imagine it's been many, and my gratitude is overflowing for that service. Kids need to be heard.

It's 8:28pm. My house is not clean. The yard hasn't seen attention since football season began. The garage; well, we could turn off the lights and it would have a complete pre-Halloween ambiance for scaring. And then there is my car.....If I search hard enough, I might find the homeless person who lives in my home-away-from-home, 12-passenger, people-mover. Surely, he is there, somewhere between the soccer balls, the papers, the shoes, and the water bottles. Maybe I am actually that homeless person? It feels like it most days.

Once again, Wednesday, thanks for listening to my ramblings.

Obediently yours,
Me

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Sushi

Fall Break is almost over.
Everyone is anxious to get back into a routine.
And that makes today,
ALL about endurance.
One more day home.
We have had fun.
Just one more day,
so it ends well.

What did we do for the last 2.5 weeks?
No idea.

Date night has taken an interesting turn:
After soccer practice,
on the week night.
I curl my hair,
and we find somewhere to eat or something to do.
Last night,
I jabbered on and on,
all about me,
And then some about football,
and a little about Dan,
but mostly back to me.
We opted to try Sushi.
(It's part of my mid-life-crisis)
Who knew I would like it?

And we picked up Sydney's book for her,
and since they were buy-two-get-one-free,
she begged for
"The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe"
+
"The Complete Works of Shakespeare"
+
"Grimms Fairy Tales....Complete"

It's funny, what satisfies that kid.

Dan spent the night listening to me talk about all my ambitions.
I told him my thoughts.
He gave me his responses.
He never judges me,
except when I admit to the waitress that I have no idea how to order Sushi.
There is a lengthy conversation.
And Dan reminds me not to be so honest,
because the serving girl doesn't need to know that the last time we ate Sushi,
it came from the grocery store.
He said too much honesty can be a bad thing too.

And then we came home and moved all the children back to their beds,
and they stayed there all night.
Woohoo.

Have I ever mentioned that I really like that guy?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Solution

The laundry mat satisfied a scouting requirement last night.
Cool.

And today we continue our progress.
I am finally getting rid of all the old linens.
Why did I keep them all this time?

This week is monumental in the laundry department.
Part of the responsibility has transferred to the older children.

Sydney - You have Mondays and you are responsible to wash yours and Presley's.
Colin - You have Tuesdays and you will wash yours and Caleb's.
Reagan - Wednesdays
Caleb - You will wash Corbin and Cade's on Thursdays.
Mom - Fridays.

Sort, Wash, Dry, Fold and Put away.

Good luck.

Love,
Mom

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Help

Okay,
The projects are rolling on here.
I need input.
What's your solution to crafts and extra linens?
(Oh, and it has to look good on the shelf too.
I am not good at saving old mismatched spaghetti containers or milk jugs for storing random weird stuff,
but I am all about plastic bins.)

Also, please someone give me a cure to my insatiable desire to save.
Keep this in mind:
"Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."
Those words are deeply imprinted on my subconscious.
I keep thinking that someday I will need these miscellaneous things.
I hate re-purchasing stuff I just got rid of, because now someone has a project or needs a costume.
It's a sickness.
I admit.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Effort

I guess I didn't have to miss 4am for very long.
But I do miss the sun,
and the heat.

Last night,
Dan and I sat out on the patio of El Ricos and shared a chimichanga.
I was cold and so he went to the car and retrieved a blanket for me.
It was probably 78 degrees.
brrrrr

Cade and Corbin came in together a few minutes ago.
I wasn't sleeping anyway.
Sometimes chimichangas give me bad dreams about flesh-eating zombies.
I don't handle scary movies very well.
A few years ago,
I watched I Am Legend,
in the middle of the day,
without sound.
I still have nightmares about it.
It was a good movie.

Anyway,
I am up.
I have a slight foreboding feeling.
I had the same feeling last week.
It was on the stormy day.
Driving home from the store on the freeway,
I was nearly tangled up in a major accident.
It's the closest I've come to crashing for awhile.
Sydney was with me.
She reminded me to thank Heavenly Father for protecting us.
Sad....that I needed reminded.

Yesterday was a good day,
except I started a little disheartened.
I talked with a good friend and felt better after.

What's been on my mind?
My kids and my time.
Their time too.
In recent months,
I have become a huge supporter of any activity that takes my kids away from the tv and video games.
I have become a sports fan.
It's really unusual for me.
I am such a fan, in fact, that I feel like playing too.
Colin and Caleb are teaching me football.
Reagan would love for me to play soccer,
(but my confidence with that one is a little low).
I am learning.
Sports are a very fascinating concept.
I regret that I did not get that sooner.
It took an inspiring coach to help me.
And when I figured out that good coaches are few and far between,
I decided the only way to ensure that my kids were being instructed properly was for Dan to coach them.
So we re-evaluated our schedule
and made time for him.
We put together a team of understanding families,
who could support the fire schedule
and we dedicated 10 hours a week to our sons.
I only know how to support one way:
with my whole heart.
And when I believe in something,
it's 150 %
especially where my kids are concerned.

Yesterday in my frustration,
I found profoundness.
Here it is:
For the rest of my time raising children,
I will never again
complain
about any activity
where someone is willing to donate their time
in an effort to teach my children something I am not able or willing to teach them myself.

How many activities do we sign our kids up for that end up being kind of a burden?
It's really tough to commit to a team or a program.
Scouts was hard for me for awhile.
Music takes tremendous dedication and practice.
Driving to sporting events is exhausting.

Can we honestly expect that our children will grow up to be successful adults if we are not willing to commit our whole hearts to the cause of ensuring they are nurtured properly?

Do we think that someone else will step in and do the things we feel are too much effort?

Will our children ever learn dedication if we ourselves are not eager to support their programs?

It is not by chance that kids turn out okay.
It is with exhausting hard work and effort.

Everything matters.
Every day.

With that being said,
I have to finish my projects upstairs today.
The entire house has thrown up right into my bedroom.
I have to conquer that space again.
I can't keep blogging from Reagan's bedroom anymore,
although I do like this room.
Even Sydney was hanging out in here yesterday.

Today is Tuesday.
What I do today will have a tremendous impact 3 days from now.
(That's what I tell myself when I have to do something I really don't want to do).

Have a good day.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Christopher Columbus

Does it ever feel like life is more about the tasks and less about the journey?

In my mind,
stability of schedules and regular routines
act as safety nets when everything seems to come crashing down.
Nothing is crashing for us here,
but life is moving at a break-neck pace,
and I am wondering if I am enjoying the journey like I am meant to.
It feels like it,
but my optimism is a little low right now.

Dan dragged me out to walk with him and the dog this morning.
He likes to be moving while we make our plans.
It is a good, cleansing, comforting routine that I have been missing.
Without plans, our vision gets blurry,
and that is dangerous.
Maybe it's nearing the end of the year,
and I am wondering if my goals for 2010 ever became reality this year.
I am thinking about our progress,
and if we had success.
I am wondering what loose ends still need tied up this year.
So, it's probably a good day to re-evaluate my ambitions.

From where I sit,
I hear the team out running drills at the park.
Presley went out to watch.
Maryn is sounding a little disgruntled in her crib.
Reagan is teaching herself the piano,
and Sydney, Corbin and Cade are still snoozing.
It's Monday.
I think it's a holiday.
It feels like a holiday.
I need a holiday,
and a cleaning lady.
Really,
I need a trip to the laundry mat to clear my head in the sound of the machines,
and some good latin music.

Today is Columbus Day.
Thanks to that guy
and some other courageous, God fearing men,
I am sitting here on this blog right now,
feeling a little worried, but mostly grateful for all the comforts I enjoy.

Today is Monday.
Today has to be the day.

And a note to the one I love:
I need a new outfit (with matching earrings).
I need it for a special night.
I need some time with you.
Please put me on your calendar.
Not in pencil.
In ink.
Red ink would be best.
When we go out,
we can eat a whole meal without anyone spilling anything.
No one will fall off their chair.
Can we go someplace quiet,
maybe a place that's nearly empty,
and we can sit in a far back corner booth?
And to be fair,
we can still talk about football,
and who will play in the #3 spot,
because,
sadly,
I think about those things too.
Maybe there is some time this week?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Count your many blessings

The sun is coming up later,
and so are we.
I will miss 4am.
I love that time of day.

Today feels like a good day.
It is always a good sign if I wake up excited for my week.

Dan has an expression he uses sometimes when he's really motivated to work.
He says "he's keeping his head down."
That's how I feel today.

Yesterday's games were hard.
I was at the football game when Reagan called in and gave me a play-by-play report.
She's 8.
I thought it was funny how much detail she gave.
It was funnier, how much detail I needed from her.

The boys game was full of anxiety for me.
My research and my gut told me that the team they played would take real effort to beat.
But the boys struggled.
4 guys were out.
That's 4 of their best friends gone from the field and the bench where they laugh and joke and pick each other up.
The sideline was silent.
It was tough to watch.

I knew I needed to be at the hardest field.
In my old days,
I would have let Dan deal with it.
Watching your own children get beat is painful.
And to make it worse,
I feel like I have 9 more sons now.
It's 9 times the sadness on a losing day.
Everyone went home with their heads hanging low.

Thankfully,
it's only a game,
and today is the day after,
and hopefully this week's practices will be productive,
and the boys won't accept defeat very easily.

In the scriptures we read of Eve,
and we understand her commitment to her family.
One of her consequences for eating the fruit,
was that her "sorrow was multiplied" pertaining to her children.
Pregnancy is hard.
Childbirth is painful, no matter how you do it.
But all that is temporary.
Raising children is difficult,
regardless the numbers or circumstances.

Mothers feel differently about their children.
It is our nature,
and what God intended.
We carry the lasting emotions of love, tenderness, concern, defeat and so many more.
It is the mother who ultimately stands by to watch her children
in their victories and their losses.

I had an interesting experience the other day.
I took a van-load of kids to the zoo.
My car held most of the big ones.
We laughed and joked and listened to rap music.
I thought it would be more fun for the big kids to separate from all the toddlers and explore the zoo without any tantrums.
Of course I would rather spend the time with them,
but most of these kids were the oldest of big families.
It shouldn't be all about helping all the time.
But it didn't work out for the older kids to separate,
and so we all stayed together,
which was still fun too.

I did mention to my good friend
who was worried,
that we would manage the little ones,
and the others would be fine.
They are good and smart,
and teenagers now.
In a safe environment,
it's good to experiment with freedom.
Someday we won't have a choice.

My talks this week with my big kids have centered on Responsibility.
I give them a fairly long leash.
Where most parents hover,
I step away.
Our big kids enjoy certain liberties and rewards
because they have proven they are responsible.
In this respect,
I am not like the others.

I wish the world was a safer place.
I am not really sure how to combat all the badness around,
except to make tough, smart kids who become even better adults.

In my writing,
I try to record much more of the good in my life.
There is plenty of ugliness,
but it's not what I want to remember most.

Sydney,
it is possible that because of you,
I see the world a little differently.
You are intelligent, respectful, self-motivated and a million other good things.
I believe all kids are just like you.
It would shock me to know that kids are anything but amazing.

Colin,
You are doing a great job at everything this year.
Your homework, your sports, your music.
The next 2 years will be full of really great opportunities.
Are you already thinking about what you want to do with your life?
The possibilities are endless.

Caleb,
I have loved watching you the last few months.
Hiking Camelback with you is my favorite memory.
Next time,
let's do it with music,
because that would be really fun.
You have gifts and talents that come out more and more.
Thank you for being so kind and helpful,
and an especially good friend.

Reagan,
You finally have your own room,
and it is a beautiful, inviting space.
(I am typing this at your desk.)
Reagan, there is no limit to your abilities.
Your personality is as colorful as the decorations around you.

Presley,
It is because of you that I have taken an interest in all things beautiful.
You have always added that to my life,
and because of this,
I have centered my efforts on creating an environment to promote the arts.
At first,
I thought just of you,
but then I realized that each of us can find a way to express ourselves through color, images and words.
And so it is for you that I have torn up the upstairs this week.
Hopefully,
when my projects are complete,
we will have a place where you and your brothers and sisters can explore your talents.

Corbin,
Last night you cuddled up between Sydney and me and your angelic face melted our hearts.
The energy you expel would exhaust most people.
You have a curious wonder right now.
Ice, water, bugs, dirt....it's all there, in one day.
And your sweet face is in the center,
like the eye of a hurricane.
From your perspective,
the world must be an extraordinary playground.
I am sure if you down-graded to 'tropical storm' it would be less about the marvel, and more about the storm.
It's okay to be a hurricane for awhile.

Cade,
Yesterday, you wanted your hair in a mohawk, just like your brother.
You both wore matching clothes:
Camo shorts and a fire t-shirt.
The entire combination was adorable,
except that mohawks and camo shorts send very exciting messages to your little brains.
The poor, poor water cooler.
For one moment yesterday,
I thought I would not survive raising another set of sons.
You will be one tough, talented, little guy.
You are unique.
Being the 7th and a boy,
you have access to knowledge well beyond the normal grasp for most 2-year-olds.
The world is limitless.
I suspect it always will be for you.

Maryn,
For you, little angel,
Anything is Possible.
And everything is available.

Dan. I. love. you.
Good luck teaching today.

Because there is this song that keeps playing in my head,
I should probably stop and look up the words.
My blessings are many,
and I like numbers,
so counting them is good for me.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Saturday

Last year at the Zoo when Maryn was new.

Yesterday with my little angel.
She was snuggling into my cheek.
I love her so much.
She was worth every sleepless night this year.
...
..
.
Today is Saturday.
Saturday is Game Day.
I love, love, love to watch them play.
...
..
.
Today,
I need to be on 3 fields at the same time.
Today,
Mommy Sydney will be helping.
I am so glad they love her too.
I would never ask her to stand in my place if I didn't believe she wanted to.
She is so kind,
and I appreciate the moments when she willingly steps up,
as I do when all the children support each other.
This week when Reagan wanted someone to race,
we filled 6 lanes at the pool.
Yesterday when the boys needed someone to play catch with,
they had each other....and me.
Maryn had no limit on those willing to push her in the swing at the park last night.
..
.
And although we cannot all gather today at the games,
every sideline can have someone.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Oct 3

I try not to remember dates,
but since I can't forget numbers,
I will probably always remember this one.
10 years ago today my dad died.
Tonight, as we were heading out,
I told Colin and Caleb a little about it.
It's interesting how time brings perspective.
I never believed I would get over the hurt,
but ten years later it's not nearly as painful anymore.
My dad has been gone twice the number of years that Dan knew him.
My children don't remember him at all.
I still hear his voice and see his face.
I remember conversations we had like they happened yesterday.

His death was my first experience with fairness.
I have yet to understand it.
Really, I am not sure it exists,
But I trust God,
And I feel peace,
even when things don't seem to happen very fairly.

My children would have loved my dad.
He was so easy to spend time with.
I know that most of my children knew him before they came to me.
I wonder if it's not a little of his influence that's kept our family growing.
He was always all about including everyone possible.
He knows I would never say no.

If he were here,
I would call him,
but he would be in bed by now,
so I would call him in the morning,
about 6am.
We could meet for breakfast.
He would read his morning paper,
and tell me something fascinating about politics.
He would probably send me pictures on my phone of interesting things he saw while he was out and about.
We would find a new Chinese restaurant to eat at.
He would teach my sons about firearms,
and take my daughters to Broadway productions.
He would hold my babies on his chest while watching re-runs of M.A.S.H.
He would love to play Wii war games with Colin,
and take Caleb to the opening night movies.
He would tell Dan what an amazing dad he is.
We would have been to Disneyland together,
and Nauvoo for sure.
He would have Sydney singing his favorite hymns.
He would have a special place in his heart for my little daughter who looks just like me.
He would buy Thomas trains for Corbin and Cade every chance he got.
Presley would have long conversations with him, and he would listen and then tell me all about the funny things she would say to him.
He would be the only one Maryn would go to willingly,
because he would want to see her all the time.
I would have met him at the temple every Friday.
I would know more words to more Elvis songs.

If I don't think too much about it,
I don't feel the pain of all the things I miss about my dad.
I wish my children knew him like I did.
I wish I knew him like they did too,
except they don't remember.

Well,
since the tears are silently falling,
I will probably stop thinking now.
And hopefully tomorrow,
I will spend time with my kids like my dad did with me,
so they will always know how thankful I am to have them in my life.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

5:22

It's been a busy week.

Favorite moments:
  • Laughing with Sydney about the new slang I picked up.
  • Getting big kisses from Cade
  • Teaching art in Presley's class. (She's an artist....well, at least at home.) We had precisely 15 minutes to teach an art lesson and create something inspiring.
  • Watching Ghost Whisperer with Corbin. (He's never afraid)
  • Hearing Maryn say, "I love you," followed by a sweet, slimy kiss.
  • Watching Colin head up a game of 007 in the park late last night with Sydney's friends. (I think he finally discovered that 'girls are different.'
  • Grocery shopping with Reagan after her doctor's appointment. She is so easy to spend time with.
  • Watching Caleb play Band Hero with his friends. (Dan took a picture.)
  • Sharing his pillow. (Those moments are too few and far between)

It's 5:22pm on Saturday night. Dinner is over. The little ones are vegging on the couch. I am in jammies (Dan's scrubs.) This long week is finally over.

In my mind, Dan and I are walking on a beach in Puerto Vallarta. The weather is perfect. The view is amazing. It's all just begun.

Last night, he told me, "We were never meant to stay there. This is what we are meant to do."

Yes....I believe. It means everything to me that you believe it too.

Good night.